Thursday, October 30, 2008

Consistently Inconsistent The Finale

It's true...
Tonight i had one of the best nights in the cage. I have reclaimed the title of Tigress Woods!
First, let's start off by saying it's really cold out. Thankfully, non-students don't go to the range when it's cold out like this because George turned the heaters on and kept us on the bottom level. It was comfy, almost hot at times, which made it perfect for concentrating. I also went to Charlie Browns for the salad bar again.. I think that being able to sit and relax and enjoy a really good salad and just visualize my A game helps me focus for when i do get to the range. But i digress.

I arrived early and first as usual. George was giving me one-on-one lessons for the most part for nearly 15 minutes before the others arrived. At first i was grounding them, (things are different on the bottom level, because on the top level everything is up in the air!) then slicing them. He showed me where on the ball and club i was striking and he put one of the rubber tees in front of my tee and told me strike the ball and not hit that tee.. It's totally psychological. I hit the ball every single time and for the most part it went pretty straight. I, for the most part, know what i do when i top the ball now because i made one adjustment and i hit the ball nearly perfectly once i figured it out.. George was impressed with my game on this final night of lessons.

Then for some reason i drew a blank about a 1/4 way through a jumbo bucket. I forgot how far back from the ball i was to stand. George was laughing because i was standing so far away i acted as if the ball "had cooties". He reminded me of the rule and i addressed the ball again. This time it was effortless, straight, and it had quite a distance to it. The teacher was happy now and told me that of all the students in our class i am, by far, the one with the best swing, (not that that is saying much because everyone else is hacking at the ball), but I laughed and thanked him at the same time. Then he got serious on me, he said "once you learn to incorporate your body movement with your swing you will be one mean person to play with. You have awesome potential, just move your body more, be more thorough. I watch you stop 3/4 through a full swing and laugh when you wonder why it slices right". We had a good laugh, because i just can't seem to blend the two together, but when i do the ball goes, and it goes far and straight.

I used all of the clubs except for the woods, wedges and driver. My goal was to own that 5 iron, and i did along with the 7, 9 and 8. The 6 was kind of boring but i did well with it. Towards the end George huddled us together for a chat and demo on club swing, addressing the ball (don't stand so far away-joke was on me and we laughed), and practicing at home with ordinary objects. He mentioned that for the winter the range will be open until 7pm and if we wanted to come on our own and if he sees us there he will help us out at no charge because he wants us to practice and practice right. He also mentioned he's trying to get lessons started earlier this year (like February-yikes! cold!) which would come in handy for my possible trip to a tropical climate in the spring.

In parting, this experience has had it's ups and downs. For the most part though i have learned a lot and i certainly am better now than i was 6 weeks ago. I can not believe it's been 6 weeks already. Through it all though, i have learned that this game is not as easy as the pros make it look, and that most of us will never get nearly as close to the status that a pro is. The game is meant to be fun and strategic. With the right knowledge and understanding and willingness to concentrate and retain, anyone can partake in this sport. Yes, sport and one of the most difficult ones i might add.

Until Next time! I will see you on the LINX!!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dreams and Aspirations Unfulfilled

Growing up i wanted to be many things. First a cop, modeled after one of my favorite TV shows CHiPs. My childhood friends and i used to role play that with our big wheels when we were young.. lol just thinking back on that i laugh hysterically. The many times i made Chris be the bad guy so i could chase after him and then tackle him to the ground lol. The little tough girl i wasn't!
It's funny looking back now.. Chris and his older brother are both police officers, another friend of the group is a state trooper, another a lawyer, and my g/f a police officer as well. I was the only one left behind. Left to live the civilian life desperately trying time and time again to fill those shoes and to close the circle of childhood friends of law enforcement.

I tested, went through background checks, fingerprints, interviews with the top brass and mayor and council. Was highly liked by the Chief of the one department i interviewed with. He like my personality so much he pushed me into an interview with the mayor even though my # was farther down than what the mayor was willing to interview. The interview went as good as anyone could hope. 2 days later the chief called me personally to tell me i didn't make it, and that he regretted the mayor's decision and tried to persuade him otherwise. I thanked him for his effort and time.
It was a punch and kick in the gut. With everything i was going through in my life, that was the last thing i needed.. It was my dream. Something i physically and mentally prepared for.. the academy.. a new life.. the life i always wanted to live.. My independence.

Though i was kicked hard i never went down.. I kept my head up, continued to work out and study and test.. Even though by test #3 i was just beat down emotionally and i didn't really want the job anymore.. I am getting older and quite honestly.. i just can't take the stress anymore. I let test #4 pass without my presence in any of the testing centers. I officially called the battle over.
In my state 35 yrs of age is the cap. Meaning, i would have to be sworn in by then. By the time the results came out, letters sent out, background checks and psych tests done it would be passed my 35th b-day. I knew when to fold my cards and i did so as graciously as i could.

It's hard dating a cop, when your dream of once becoming one is now a chapter in your life that has been read and put on the shelf. You see what he does, the training, the family, the bond, and yes the danger, and it stings quite a bit. I never really talk about that with anyone. Not even Kyle.. He would never understand, none of my friends that are LEO can or would.. So if i do feel the need to talk about it it's with those that have joined me in test-prep, testing centers and interviews and where skimmed over by the rule of 3. Those are truly the only ones that can understand.

In the middle of childhood and early adulthood and my aspiration to be a cop i wanted to be in the Armed Forces. An Army recruiter came to my high school in my senior year, and it was my ticket to a free education and to serve my country.
I filled out all the necessary paperwork and when i was told to call the recruiter office i did hastily. Another gentleman answered the line and did a pre-interview on the phone. He asked my weight and height then told me i was too "under weight" for my age and height and that the Army would not take me. Under weight? since when is that a bad thing? by the Dr's standards yes i was, but i was very healthy. i worked out every day i ate great, i was very healthy. I begged the guy to let me come in but he wasn't having it.. he told me to gain 15 lbs.. yeah, no way.. I could barely keep the weight on let alone gain! and i ate like a horse! Never-the-less it was a dream unfulfilled, a punch in the gut. With that slap in the face i said to myself "If the Army won't take you no police dept will, so look for another line of work". This, of course, was before the laws of discrimination.

Prior to the armed forces and ever dreaming of REALLY becoming a cop i always wanted to be an interior designer. It's something that i guess i always found very interesting, and it kept my creative, artistic mind moving. When i graduated high school i wanted to go to interior design school. Unfortunately, back in those days, the only school available was in Philadelphia. I didn't have the money to pay for school, live there, or commute. So it also ended up being a dream unfulfilled. As was college.

I settled into customer service related jobs through the crappy economy of the 90's. I was laid off 3 years in a row on Good Friday by 3 separate employers. So i decided to stay out of work for a while and go to college.. That lasted all of 1/2 a semester. I went on the state's dime, and i had to move to NY temporarily in an emergency situation (long story, but it was life or death). Because i moved out of state i had to forfeit the funds to school. I was doing great too. i was majoring in liberal arts to seek a Psychology major. I loved it.. classes were awesome and all of my professors rocked! i cried when i was in with my the student counselor, because i felt defeated, but at the same time i couldn't lie to the state and give a fake address just to continue to go to school. So i again accepted defeat and saw another dream unfulfilled. (Though i can always go back to this one, thankfully)

My next two aspirations were either to be married, be a wife, have some sort of purpose. Or join the Air Force and become an AP, getting me closer to the LE career attempt that had yet to unfold. I found a recruiter and started all the paperwork, i was set to see the doc for my physcial and take my ASFAB test but during that time I managed to find a guy to fill the role of husband. This all happened 8 years ago. We met at a Super Bowl party, and we hit it off immediately. We were engaged 2 weeks later (there goes the AF career), married 2 years later in Vegas. Bad move, and it showed my naivete at that very young age. He was an alcoholic.. and a violent one at that. Though he drank everyday i never really noticed how bad he really was until we were married. Because once that ring went on my finger he deemed me his property. It wasn't him holding back anymore. I was verbally attacked the night of my vows in the middle of the Venetian with the entire casino floor in silence all because i wanted to leave my dealer a $5 tip out of my $500 winnings. He flipped a switch that night, and the moment before his mouth opened was the last moment i wanted to be near him for the next 15 months i was living under the same roof with him. Not only did i have to deal with his verbal and mental abuse, i had to deal with his constant infidelity. He even made-out with a broad he didn't know right in front of me on one of his drunken stoopers at a convention we were at. I was married for 6 months.. i was devastated. I didn't talk to him for 30 days and sadly, when i finally told him why i wasn't talking to him he had no idea what he did, he was that drunk. The wife of a good friend of his told me the next day, and this saying will and has stuck with me since then, "Fool me once shame on you; Fool me twice shame on me". Needless to say i never let the "fool me twice" happen (with my knowledge) and I left in the arms of 2 police officers and my brother's Mustang back home to Mom. 2 more defeats.. a failed marriage, and a failed attempt at a life of independence.

When life beats you down on the big things it makes you feel defeated, but we pick ourselves up and move to the next dream we hope will come true. Right now, the only dream i have is to finish decorating Kyle's house. Sadly, it's the only dream i can attain as i am 1/3 of the way completed already ( I will post the progress on that in the days to come). I do have others, but i don't think that they will happen as those decisions are out of my control and how can one dream when someone else is in complete control? You can't, because if you do you are just setting yourself up for another dream unfulfilled.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Consistently Inconsistent part duh

I'm so disgusted i can't even write about it anymore..
The putter is easy once you know how to hold the club correctly.. no biggie.. it's a flat surface so putting was a cinch.. Get on a real green where there is a break, then come see me about it.

Prior to putting, George instructed us to hit some balls.. didn't care which club, just practice.. Yeah well i suck.. i don't understand why i cannot grasp, week after week, a very simple swing!!! i mean COME ON!. (yes, for all you golfers out there you can understand my foul mood, perhaps i should not blog after a shitty night at lessons). I don't shift my body, I'm topping the ball.. out of a jumbo bucket, my hybrid and my precious enemy the 5 iron, i hit 3 balls correctly.. 3 BALLS!!! i stopped with 10 balls in my bucket cause i just got so damn fed up. and that's my story.

On to even better news.. the tires are fixed and I'm $512.48 poorer. My next car? a 10-speed. Tubes are just a few bucks.

I hate this week.. i need a vacation and my vacation to W VA. on the 5th just isn't going to be enough I'm afraid.. i think i need to go somewhere warm.. maybe visit some friends while I'm away that i haven't seen in a while.. traveling alone sometimes is good for minimal aggravation.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Black Clouds

Did you ever have a really crappy day and wondered why you even bothered to wake up at all in the morning?
I mean, people have crappy days and when we compare them to ours it pales in comparison to , but never-the-less your day just sucks.. Not on a catastrophic level, but bad enough to wish for a heavy sedative to forget the woes of the day, or at the very least a really stiff drink.
That is the kind of day that i had..
I woke up like normal, just a tad cranky, but nothing a hot cup of my favorite coffee wouldn't shake out.. got to work, made a nice hot cup of my favorite coffee and had my breakfast.. it is at this time i noticed my mood turning dark.. i'm thinking WTF? why am i so cranky? i'm not PMSing or anything so what's up? can't figure it out..
As the day progresses, events within made my mood even more sour, more aggravated, and i turned down right angry with absolutely NO patience. Although, i made it through without beheading anyone.
My payback for holding back was a semi-flat tire when i left work.. THANKS! I knew i needed a bit of air this morning on my way in, but the station with the air is on the opposite side of the road from my travel with almost a near impossibility of crossing the road to continue to work so i opted to wait until i got out.. The car would be sitting all day so no big deal. It wasn't that low anyway, just enough to notice. Yeah, well i guess it was worse than i thought! I stopped for gas after work then proceeded to the other station with the air (it's all about getting the best price for gas btw). First, i pull in and proceed to turn my car around to the side the air was needed as another car pulls in behind me then blocks me from completing my turn to get air.. (my tire is almost flat mind you) the bitch puts her car right behind mine as i'm backing up.. so i get out and cut her the look of death.. she quickly moves out of my way. Then she does it again!! JACKASS!
I again, get out of my car and proceed to her vehicle.. she wants nothing to do with it and backs way out of my way..
At this point i'm even more pissed.. it's cold and windy i have a skirt suit on and i dropped the 25 of the 75 cents needed for the pump under my seat.. 1 broken nail and a cut later i got the f'n quarter. I pump up the tire, and use my new digital air pressure guage.. and what happens? it reads ZERO the entire time.. so i find a manual one in the glove box and sure enough i over pumped by 20 lbs.. so now i have to let it out.. while i'm freezing my ass off on the ground i take notice of the wall of the tire.. it's shreading/cracking? WTF? the tires have less than 36k on them how can that be? now the sweats start.. how many miles i've been driving on the highway at speeds in excess of 65mph.. i could have had a blow out and flipped the car! seatbelt or not that is gonna hurt! but i digress and go into fix it mode.. quickly the thoughts rush to where, and how long before this thing just pops. i drive ever so carefully to the Goodyear tire center by my house 12 miles and 25 minutes away.
The service writer comes outside to look at the tires and sure enough he agrees i will need a tire.. Upon inspection of the other front tire, that's starting to do the same thing. so now i need "2" new tires..
Are ya sitting down? $244.00/ per tire. i almost passed out.. i whip out my road hazard contract and beg the guy to find the best rate he can. i can't afford this expense, yet i have to because i will be back on the highway friday night and i can't have crappy tires like that! it's completely unsafe! (i wish more people cared about their tires).. oh! but not to worry my dear they don't carry that size. the only two stores that do are Levittown NY and Allentown PA.. are ya kidding me?!? i need them NOW! so he had my donut put on in the rear and the good rear tire moved to the front at no charge. He told me the tires will be in tomorrow, he called it in for a rush transport for tomorrow. i told him "5:30 on the button i will be here because i have golf lessons at 6:30 and i cannot be late! i have to leave here no later than 6:10" he promised he would accomodate me.. wow! i sure am demanding for someone that needs their service huh? oh well.. i give them alot of business, even when i DON'T order my tires from them.. which in this case i don't have the time for..
And that got me thinking about my relationship again.. it's so damn inconvenient dating someone an hour away that you are trying to start a future with.. because of the fact that i live there on the weekends i have to cram all my shit in in 4 days down here in my world.. so had i been able to date someone closer i wouldn't have to worry about spending $244.00/tire i could have ordered them like i normally do and paid 33% less.. but noooooo through convenience i have to dish out cash.. it's totally my fault i'll admit it. just dump the shit on me today cause that's where it seems to want to stick anyway.
So in essence my paycheck that i got today.. GONE.. i have enough left to live off of PB&J sammiches and put gas in my car.. Well thank GOD i quit smoking! And he wants to go to "2" different Halloween parties this year.. one being themed?? yeah, and who the F is going to pay for it?? i'm tapped now.. completely.
And that thought flows right into my trip to the grocery store after the tire center ordeal (same shopping plaza so the black cloud is still very much lingering close by). all i need is water, cereal, and celery.. yeah.. right.. 3 things that typically you can find anytime anywhere right? nope. shelves were bare for those 3 measly items.. looking around the store it seemed that everything else was there in abundance.. but my stuff?? yeah right.. and i thought they would have it the way my day was going? ha ha ha ha haaaaaa.. i must have been sniffing some socks.
$25.00 later (cause now i had to buy the stuff that's more expensive as opposed to the stuff i would normally get) i decide on chinese food for dinner since it will be my last good meal for another 2 weeks. i have to admit, i was nervous. The way my day was going i expected undercooked slop... but my friends at the chinese place hooked me up! (minus the fortune cookie that was completely stale) i love those chefs. and that seemed to end my bad day so far.. nothing else has happened yet.. but then again i haven't talked to Kyle yet today so who knows what's lingering behind that door.
I hope you all had a better day.

Monday, October 20, 2008


As in teeth.
Seriously, they aren't very smart are they? They have to be pulled because they become impacted or just simply don't fit in the mouth.. If i was a smart tooth, i would either hide and never come out and never cause problems, or i would grow properly in so that i would make sure i maintain my position as the smartest of all teeth, be a mentor to the others.
I have managed to go 34 years with just 1 tiny cavity, that was just deep enough to forgo the typical white fillings they used when we were kids.. So at age 10 i received a small amalgam filling in my lower left molar.
24 years i haven't had one cavity. I've chipped a tooth (recently), but never had a cavity, and i still don't. But yet, i have to get my wisdom teeth pulled. ALL 4!. reason? one (lower right) is 1/2 impacted and creating a pocket situation where food can be trapped, key word CAN. It doesn't hurt, it's not causing problems etc, yet doc feels it should go. The two uppers are in, the upper left though does cause pressure from time to time and is causing food to be trapped in one of my other molars because it's a tight fit now.. OK so I'll floss.. the lower left has not come in yet.. though not impacted, it's just the runt of the litter.. taking it's time.. cause it just KNOWS what's gonna's gonna get yanked.. I'd be scared too!
So i was given a referral to the oral surgeon.. strictly telling the doc that i will need to be knocked out completely.. like major surgery knocked out.. then i want to be on painkillers for a good 2 weeks.. i don't want to even know my name when all is said and done for at least a week..
You see, i used to work for a dentist as an assistant.. It's not pretty what goes on in there. You all think.. 'oh no biggie they just numb it and yank'.. lol boy are you all totally WRONG.
Most cases in wisdom teeth.. they have to be cut out of the jaw.. you don't know this cause you are all numbed up or knocked out. Granted, dental procedures have come along way since 1993, but it's not good enough.. they can catheter a heart without going in for major surgery, yet wisdom teeth? you would think they would make it easier.. less painful.. less invasive.. yeah right..
I just don't understand why in the world it hurts as much as it does in the first place.. seriously think about it.. tooth is out.. no nerve.. it's gone.. nothing but a gaping hole, which is stitched closed.. yet.. the pain afterwards is almost unbearable.. Most people can't hack it.. My friends I'm one of them.. ever since my tonsillectomy in 2003, and my ruptured cyst in 2004 I'm a pain-o-phobe. I can't hack it.. call me a woos, a baby, i don't care.. i hate pain. Besides the fact that i haven't been in a conducive relationship until now, why do you think I'm not a mommy? yep.. deathly afraid of child-birth.. Just knock me out and take it out.. better yet, let's adopt! Maybe I'm less of a woman i don't care.. but teeth and ovaries, and tonsils HURT! i don't fare well on most painkillers as they make me violently ill.. they put me on Oxycontin for the cyst and wow i was vomiting within 45 minutes.
My only saving grace is they don't hurt yet.. as long as i keep brushing and flossing and rinsing i think I'll be OK.. besides, I'm going on vaca in November, then Thanksgiving, then Christmas and New Years.. so I'm no where NEAR going to make an appointment. So when and/or IF i ever get it done I'll keep ya's updated.. but for now it's a party in my mouth.. all the teeth are having a grand ole time.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Consistently Inconsistent

I had my fourth golf lesson tonight. I'd say i totally shot under par if i had to compare.
I don't know if it's because i was rushing around before class that i just didn't focus or what, but it was very off.. my game that is.

Tonight we were to learn the DRIVER. OK, I'll admit i was intimidated by the mere thought, but my suckiness wasn't even with the driver. I brought my best friend, the 5 iron, with me as well in case i got tired of swinging the heavier, more awkward driver. I started off with my 5 iron to get the feel of the motion with my instructor looking on while we waited for all the other people to show up. I was off.. topping the ball, couldn't get my grip right, my right hand was really hurting and getting tons of vibration. The club head kept falling under to the left and i was getting frustrated.. and knowing the driver was ahead made me more nervous because if i sucked this bad with my best friend, the 5 iron, the driver was going to own me.

George let us out of our cages to watch his instruction. He taught us how to address the ball at the tee.. which is very good information to have by-the-way. You see, all clubs in your bag have a different degree of angle on them. The higher the degree the steeper the slant the higher the ball goes and from what i saw it looks as though the shorter the shaft of the club so you have to stand closer to the ball (i guess that would make sense why the sand wedge is pretty slanted and you almost have to stand on top of the ball). The Driver is flatter than all of them, mine having only a 12 degree slant and the men's typically 8 or 9 degree. He explained that for hitting with the driver, the ball's mid-point or horizon line should be at the top of the driver's edge, therefore requiring a higher tee. At address, the ball should be closer to the inside of your left foot. Why? AHA! i bet you thought i didn't pay attention! When you are hitting with your driver, being that it is flatter, you want to have an almost upward motion to get the trajectory. So the farther away from center, (center is in the direct middle of your stance), to the left (for righty swinger, obviously opposite for lefty swingers) you address the ball the better your trajectory because you will be coming up and with a lot of force. You never want the ball on the outside of your stance though.

So here i am at address, my grip was adjusted by George and he's awaiting his star pupil to do her dirty work.. (which is usually topping the ball) I bring the club back, (remembering what my mom's SO told me about the tees to the front and rear), and i let go with as much force as i could muster up with the fear i had of hitting the ground. WHAM! the ball takes off.. to the right. lol,
but i hit it.. i didn't top it which is good. i mean how could you? the damn ball is like 2 inches off the ground and I'm hitting it with a club-head the size of donut. George corrects my grip again and shows me that my shoulders are not correct, and we fix that. I go for swing #2 and WHAM! there it goes! far far away! it started off straight then banked hard right! i swear if there was a wall there i could have cleared it and went around the wall! lol. it was very windy so that might have had a lot to do with it..

I continued to swing like that for a short while.. Then i stopped to take a breather and check my grip and stance and shoulders. I should never have done that because when i started up again i sucked.. I was topping, or missing, or hitting the ground, or slicing HARD right, i even hit the ball so below it that i nearly did a completely straight pop-up! kind of like in baseball when the catcher throws his face mask off, waves his arms and catches the ball! thank GOD there was a roof above us! lol. George came by and fixed me up again and i was back to hitting nearly straight shots.. i can't tell you how far they went because they went so far that it hit the wall of darkness and i lost it at the 100 mark. (there are no field lights there as they will be closing their doors soon to condo developers and the owner doesn't think it's a necessity to turn the field lights on being as they really don't have that many customers anymore. Such a sad day, because that place used to be such a hot spot.. they have a par 3, mini golf, mini race cars, bumper boats, batting cages and the like..)

If i had to guess, i think 1 out of every 5 balls did what it was supposed to do. When i ran out of balls George sent me down to get another bucket to split with a couple of other people and i simply could not get my groove back.. i think i was just exhausted. My hands were hurting from the bum shots with the 5 and the vibrations. So i pawned off a few more balls and hit the remaining 4 that i had and 2 of the 4 went straight and far.. the other two sliced off pretty hard. I packed up my stuff, bid my farewells until next week and went home.

When i talked to Kyle and explained to him my dilemma he put a phrase to it.. "Consistently Inconsistent- you are either going to be good with the Irons and suck with the driver, or vis-a-vis." He was 100% correct! i sure am glad there is a phrase for this dilemma, and that I'm not the only one that has that dilemma! lol i felt better after he gave it a name.

Next week.. The PUTTER!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Living up to my title!

OK! It's a Crazy Place and I'm here to live up to my name. I have a lot of different topics tonight that are wrestling around in my bean for the honor of making it to POST status.. It's almost like having 2 kids that fight constantly, and before you know it you scold and punish both of them and send them BOTH to their rooms even though you know one of them just didn't deserve it.. Well, that is kind of like what I'm having a conflict with so I'm just going to ramble on until I'm done! lol
First, i woke up in a combative mood.. Never a good thing for anyone. I was cranky but pretty tolerable during the day. I apologized to my co-worker in advance that i woke up combative.. (oops.. just realized.. forgot to give one of my PAIN IN THE ASS customers her tracking #.. oh well! she'll have the package before i get back to her anyway. OOPS!!! totally got side-tracked and didn't send out the Daily Sales Registers! OMG! you people can run your own report.. (see notes from dept meeting.. my boss said effective 10/13 i am no longer responsible.. those asking can see him-i love this guy! but i still feel guilty because a memo never went out to the reps.. this procedure kind of just HAPPENED to stop-oh well) OK where was i? Oh yeah... So i get through my day and decide to go to the park for a walk before Yoga class (because my lunch-time work-out with the company trainer wasn't enough to kill my sour mood). I actually walked for 5 minutes than ran my ass off in hopes it would get out the rest of the anger.. For the most part it worked.. i mean i RAN for nearly a mile non-stop.. i was so physically exhausted i didn't have the energy to be angry anymore! After my run I head to CVS for some lotion, but ended up buying another travel mug and a small box of cheez-its.. why? i have no idea. i get to class and wow was it a KICK-ASS CLASS!!!
The first (almost) 20 minutes she taught us breathing exercises (last week was the Buddha Breath). This week, if i remember correctly, it was the continuous breath(<-Correction 10/21/08 it's the "complete breath"). I was very relaxed by the end of that lesson. Then we did stretching and poses then went into Savasana. It was here that i finally think i, for the first time EVER in my life, was neutral. The best way to describe this is i had NO THOUGHTS, NO PICTURES IN MY MIND, NO DIALOGUE OF ANY SORT, NO TENSION, NO EMOTION, I was not sleeping, yet i was not awake, i heard her speaking, yet i didn't. I was in a trance-like state i guess you could say. I was amazed to say the least, and very appreciative..
Towards the end of Savasana my instructor read a poem (Update 10/21/08: Called Celebrate the Journey), she mentioned the name of the book but i cannot remember. It had the word YOGA and POEMS in it. In any event, the poem was perfect, and peaceful, and it made sense! I do remember that while she was reading it a picture popped into my mind's eye of myself and my SO getting married and (at first) I was reading this poem to him, then it quickly changed to my God Mother reading this to the ceremony go-ers. lol i am going to Google this and see what i can come up with because i think this is a sign of some sort. lol (I found nothing, i'll just have to ask next week lol) (Update 10/21/08: IT's called ONE SOUL:More Poems From the Heart of Yoga by Donna Faulds-and it's on order!)

Another thought is of a blog that i have been following by a woman that is married to a police officer and her journey as a CopsWife. It has afforded me the opportunity to reflect back on when i first met my SO, we'll give him a name.. his name is Kyle, and i will refer to him as such for the rest of my days as a blogger lol.. ( i was just trying to protect the innocent). When i met Kyle it was a freak thing called Yahoo Personals. lol yeah I'm an Internet dater.. had better luck there so i stuck to it.. I was fresh out of a relationship by about a month when Kyle hit me up to chat. I wasn't "looking" to date anyone, let alone date someone an hour away from me.. I was just looking for some companionship on-line to kill my boredom while i healed from the break-up. I was IM'ing with a few gentlemen during that month's time. I also picked up a stalker or two, oh and one VERY angry guy! I swear.. true colors don't show through until someone gets rejected! Thankfully i found out b4 anything ever went farther than the IM box! whew!
Kyle and i chatted for some time before i actually had the guts to call him and speak to him on the phone. I guess you can say i was scared because by this time i got burned by a lot of guys, went through a divorce, and just had bad luck with cops in the dating arena. I was in therapy to heal from the years of being mistreated and also being verbally abused by my alcoholic ex-husband, and my therapist didn't think it was wise to get involved with someone new until i got rid of the old.. I agreed with him on that point as I, myself, didn't feel READY to date again. I just didn't think i had it in me anymore to love someone or trust someone with this valuable package called Me! However, after almost a month of IM'ing and e-mailing i wrote his # down and i bit the bullet (no pun) and called him. A higher power made me do it.. i was nervous.. It wasn't that high-school-girl nervous.. it was a dark fear of what i wasn't ready to deal with again.. A possible relationship with a COP (because by now i know he's a cop).
You see, the guy b4 him was a sheriff's officer, and although we had a decent relationship he was the A-typical cop.. cheater, partier, anti-relationship, anti-marriage, frat-boy. Though older than myself by a few years he just didn't grow up, and he met someone while we were together-SHOCKER! but didn't have the balls to tell me in person.. he TEXT MESSAGED me on a Friday afternoon while i was at work. I mean COME ON! have more balls officer! but i digress.
I have, at this point, a really bad taste in my mouth as far as police and relationships go. I have TONS of friends that are police. and from women to men they all suck in relationships.. why? they love to party and with that partying comes infidelity. I only personally know a few that are decent human beings in that regard. Now don't get me wrong or misconstrue what I'm saying.. I love all the police i know.. they are AWESOME individuals in their own right, but they fit the stereo-type and i can't be involved with that in a relationship anymore.
That was my mind-set when i met Kyle. Funny, because when he was telling me what he did for a living HE IMMEDIATELY jumped on the defensive about the Stereo-Type Cops have..
I reassured him that i try to trust not all Cops are like that, as i (at the time) was aspiring to be a cop and I'm far from a cheater, never have never will! when i was separated i felt guilty even having a drink with a male friend b/c i felt THAT was cheating! SO i had no choice but to give Kyle the benefit of the doubt.
I'm glad i did! I remember telling my Father during a phone conversation the day before i was to go on my first date with Kyle: "Dad, if he has a missing arm i won't care, he's great!". This is all from phone conversations and e-mail conversations i based this on.. In-other-words.. for once in my life i wasn't going for the meat-head, power trip, BAD BOY. I was going for a REAL GUY.. A guy that isn't afraid to share his emotions whether it's anger to tears (still haven't seen those though) and everything in between.
In the first few months Kyle and I were dating i learned a lot about him. I learned a lot about what he is capable of in a relationship, what his strengths and weaknesses are, what his family is like (LOVE THEM ALL!), what drives him, and what turns him off. I fell in love with him after just a few short months.. I saw what a hard worker he was, and how much dedication he put into his EMS/EMT career, his LEO career, his Coast Guard career, The honor guard, The riot squad.. He's not a Whacker, he just loves what he does.. I love what he does too, and yes, I'm jealous as hell, i will always admit that.
Kyle is an amazing guy.. partly because he tolerated me and never got angry or upset or anything like that.. What am i talking about? oh yeah, there will be people i DON'T know reading this blog lol.. I "had" at the time, panic and anxiety disorder (story for another time), Kyle never batted an eye. When i was having an attack he was right there holding my hand, trying to distract me to get me to calm down.. He was my light when it was very dark.. and he never left my side EVER. For someone to put up with that for as long as he did is commendable in and of itself. I attributed that to his police and EMT training.. he just naturally knew how to deal with those types of situations. Thankfully those days are behind us, and the root-cause of that has been found and eliminated, but Kyle is still here and i hope he will be forever.
OK, that's all i got for now.
I hope you enjoyed my transition from Wildebeest to dove and the beginning of my relationship with Kyle.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Close of the Season.. But There's Still Work to be Done!

Well, I guess it has to be official now.. I packed up the deck, threw away all the planter contents and brought a majority of the plants inside for the cold weather season known as WINTER.. YUCK!

To celebrate this sad event i made Pumpkin Muffins last night to welcome the Fall season..

After all was said and done; the deck cleared, plants washed and de-spidered, dinner was made/eaten/cleaned up, the man was sent off to work, and the pumpkin muffins were cooling i had time to reflect with a nice hot cup of Espresso on my days work and how i felt about it.. i wasn't sad.. shocker! Because the Summer is MY SEASON. I'm a Cancer-crab on the zodiac and a water sign.. a June baby, addicted to the sun for it's Vitamin D/depression reducing qualities.. OK, it may cause cancer if subjected to it for long periods of time, but i need it to survive lol.. just kidding on that part, but i do have the tendency to get the winter blues after the holidays and leading up to the Summer. but i digress...

During my tear down of Summer my mind conjured up a lot of winter projects to tackle to keep me busy, (especially when my SO is working on those weekends). First one i think I'm going to tackle it setting up the chicken wire on the bottom of the wood holder for the fire wood.. it's a bit wide on the bottom and the logs fall through.. that i might even do today provided Hommies offers a less-than-abundant coil of chicken wire. If not, i may just purchase string wire and make my own.. prime it and paint it black to save it from the elements and rust.. (Update 10/12/08 8:31pm: i completed this task, and in the process i started another project. I primed and started to paint(ran out) this metal bench that was left here by the previous owners. As long as the weather holds up i will have the bench completed next weekend. then my goal is to make a cushion for it. Still project #1, just changed.. lol!)

My 2nd project is to make the shelves for the pantry in the kitchen.. i just hope Hommies cuts wood too because i don't have those kinds of tools at my disposal. (update 10/12/08 8:32pm; OK Hommies messed me up.. This project is going to take a while.. apparently wood comes shorter than the size states on the tags.. by 1 whole inch!!! so now i have to figure out what to do. my shelves are 52.5lx16dx1"thick. They don't make sheets of pine anywhere NEAR that size so I'm screwed. I think i might have to consult my dad on this one, he's awesome at stuff like this.)

3. i want to make a birdbath.. i made a makeshift one yesterday with a vase that my SO's father gave us that doesn't fit our decor.. but it would look awesome as a base to a birdbath and all i need to purchase now is a large water catcher for a planter and i want to mosaic or even simply tile the top part and viola! instant, home-made bird bath. (Update 10/12/08 8:35pm; i purchased a 16"Diameter terracotta saucer for this project. can't wait to get started)

4. Paint the kitchen. (Selected the color today, my SO is in agreeance, and he added two more projects to the kitchen list: New Wood Floor, New counter top, new sink-we sort of agreed on Stainless Steel to match the appliances, but it's not official yet.)

5. Paint the Dining room. I selected the color when me SO first moved in almost a year ago, but other projects and my sun bathing interfered with home improvement projects so i will tackle this in the months to come. Color of choice "Gingery" by Sherwin Williams.

6. Remove the wallpaper glue and fix the walls in the hallway upstairs and paint that.

7. Paint the bedroom. Clueless on the color of this one.

8. I want to create my own Cook Book. i want to cook the recipes i enjoy the most to eat, take photos of the food when complete, and type up the recipes. This would be a WIP for a while being as i have tons of recipes, but my first entry will most likely be the pumpkin muffins.. I just wish i would have brought my camera.. they are soooo good.

WOW! 8 projects that i figured out over the weekend.. that'll most likely be complete by February! lol.. (well minus the cook book and the floors and counter tops in the kitchen.)

Trust me, I'm sure I'll find more.. i can't be bored on the weekends.. so i figured if there aren't any physical projects to do i can at the very least COOK right? Wow, my SO and the guys on his squad will be fat and happy this winter if i get bored! lol I'm sure they won't mind.

Friday, October 10, 2008


70 Facts about me:

1-What are your initials? TS.

2-What is your favorite thing to wear? jammies.

3-Last thing you ate? Spinach and cheese puffs from Pillsbury, rice and home made gravy and broccoli. yummy.

4-Name one thing that scares you: spiders.

5-I say Shotgun, you say: I prefer a rifle, less kick back.

6-Who was the last person in your bed? me.

7-What were you doing at 7:00am? finishing up in the shower.

8-Last person you hugged? Kyle.

9-Does anyone you know want to date you? not that i am aware of.

10-When was your last encounter with the police? at 5:30 P.M.

11-Have you ever driven without a license? Only, God forbid , i forget my wallet or purse at home.

12-The last place you went out to dinner? Charlie Browns.

13-Do you like your name? Yes.

14-What time of the day is it? 10:32 pm.

15-Who/What made you angry today? Shockingly no-one!

16-Baseball or Football? Football.
17-Do you want anyone? In what regard? these questions are very vague.

18-Do you like birds? Only when they AREN'T waking me up.

19-Favorite holiday? hmmmm... Thanksgiving.. full of food and you don't have to spend money on gifts.

20-Do you download music? All the time.

21-Do you care if your socks are dirty? Yeah eww gross.

22-Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? to each his own.

23-What are you doing tonight? Laundry, cleaning, blogging, checking my e-mail.

24-Do you like to cuddle? Love it! but don't need it.

25-Do you love anyone? Sure do!

26-Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Shh.. don't tell anyone.. it's a secret.

27-Have you ever bungee jumped? Why in the world would anyone do that?!?
28-Have you ever gone white water rafting? ummm.. no!

29-Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? hahhahah YEAH!

30-How many pets do you have? My puppy Delta.

31-Have you met a real redneck? OH YEAH!

32-How is the weather right now? not too bad tonight.

33-What are you listening to right now? Judge Judy on TV..

34-What is your current favorite song? I don't have a CURRENT favorite song.

35-What was the last movie you watched? Astronauts wife.

36-Do you wear contacts? YEP!

37-Where was the last place you went besides your house? A&P.

38-What are you wearing? Jeans and a sweatshirt.

39-What's one thing you've learned this year? How to play golf.

40-What do you usually order from Starbucks? i don't drink that crap.

41-Ever had someone sing to you? not that i can recall.. that would most likely entail alot of booze therefore i wouldn't remember anyway. Rob might have, but i was usually tanked when we went out.

42-Have you ever fired a gun: I sure did! Hmm.. i wonder if i have pics of that somewhere? i shot shotgun, revolver and one that looks like a cop gun but smaller.

43-Are you missing someone? Yes and no.

44-Favorite TV show: This year it's Knight Rider, and it's purely because of the mustang, though the guy isn't bad on the eyes either.

45-What do you have an obsession with? Right now? My espresso.

46-Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Yes.

47-Who? Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sandra Bullock .

48-What would you like to see right now? The Economy stop tanking.

49-Ever had a near death experience? Yep.

50-Are you afraid of falling in love? Nope, and I'm already there.

51-Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to? Of Course!

52-Favorite smell? I have a few... Home cooked food, summer-the beach, Dolce & Gabana cologne for men, New car, burning rubber, clean sheets, Autumn Wreath by Yankee Candle.

53-Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? butter and salt.

54-Ever put a friend in a cop car on JukePix? WTH is jukepix?

55-Ever been in a cop car in real life? YEP!

56-Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? Not recently thank God!

57-Our Lady Peace or Nickelback? I can say OLP by a million miles his voice RULES.. The dude from Nickleback sounds like he's constipated in every song!

58-What's something that really bugs you? See my blog about Honor, Respect, Integrity or Lack There of.. that'll explain it.

59-Do you like Michael Jackson? Never have Never will.

60-Taco Bell or Burger King? BK!!! Whopper Jr.!

61-Next time you will kiss someone? In the morning, but you really should ask full questions.. that one was open on the front end lol.

62-What's your favorite baseball team? Yankees, since i have to choose.

63-Ever call a 1-900 phone number? No.

64-Nipple or Nose rings? Neither, freak.

65-Whats the longest time you've gone without sleep? Over 30 days, it sucked.

66-Last time you went bowling? Shoot.. i can't remember, it was this year sometime i think.

67-Where is the weirdest place you have slept? In my car at the beach.

68-Who was your last phone call? My Dad.

69-What does your last received text message say? Something about being at the salon.

70-What's the closest orange object to you? The Ribbon on Kyle's Exceptional Service medal.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


Just call me Tigress Woods.. lol

I got in the grove by going to Charlie Browns right after work to enjoy a REALLY GOOD salad and to sit down and read the latest GOLF magazine i received in the mail the other day.. Sergio Garcia is the featured Golfer and i read about Anthony Kim too.. Now I'm TOTALLY in the mind set to take lessons tonight..

Raj and I were the first and only two students there for a while so we had George all to ourselves. He showed us the computer where it takes a video of the golfer.. he showed us pro golfers and how they tee off.. REALLY interesting stuff.. stuff you can't see on TV because it goes WAY to fast.. this machine shows frame by frame what the golfer is doing etc.. Wicked cool stuff! With that he sent us up to our cages for the next hour and 15 minutes. What helped me on my first address was the tip my mom's beau gave me at dinner the other night.. He told me to put a tee 12 inches from the front and rear of the ball and that will help me keep my club straight.. Well i didn't put the tees down, but i visualized it in my head and it worked! George spent about 10 good minutes with me and was instantly happy with my first address and shot.. perfectly straight about 75 yards.. a much bigger improvement from the week prior, and with very little effort.

I was in a BAD funk last week.. don't know why.. but i was topping the ball every single time.. i was frustrated, and the more frustrated i got the worse it got.. my head was WAY to into it.. hold the club this way, bring it back this way, shift your weight, move your hips, blah blah . wah wah wah.. Charlie Brown! OMG it was an atrocity!!! (hmm that sounded eerily like a news cast.. ATROCITY! lol) but i digress.

Today, all the stars must have been in alignment because i sure was.. From the grip on the club to my contact.. i plowed that sucker 125 yards in the air and it was dead on balls straight.. with my 5 iron.. i didn't know a 5 iron can make a ball go that far! I'm still learning about all THAT math stuff with irons, hybrids, woods etc.. so if i sound like i don't know what I'm talking about it's because i don't lol. You may ask.. wow one good shot huh? NOPE, my friends.. out of a jumbo bucket and a 1/2 i can honestly say an ENTIRE jumbo bucket was dedicated to perfect shots.. My teacher was very impressed with my performance this week. Most of the time he wasn't watching me because he was tending to the others but he HEARD my shots.. " I don't need to see you swing, i can HEAR it. It's the perfect sound of club head meeting the ball and then i hear you say ever so quietly wooooooooww.. straight as an arrow. That's when i know you hit a good one. Now next week i want you to bring the driver"

OMG! The driver! that sucker isn't my 5 iron! or my 7 iron! which I've mastered! The driver is heavier!
but as my more positive SO said to me earlier "just think.. it's going to go ALOT farther than your 5 iron"

I guess he has a point.. if i can plow that ball 125 yards with my 5 iron, i certainly can smack it into next week with my driver.. I'm looking forward to it.. BRING IT ON!

Honor, Respect, Integrity or lack there of.

Dictionary Definition of all
Honor: (v) to show a courteous regard for
Respect: (v) to show regard or consideration for
Integrity: (n) adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty

My biggest pet peeve is being told someone is going to do something and then they don't.. Drives me totally nuts. I have TONS of recent examples of this, but I'll stick to just one for now.
Why bother telling someone you will call them at such and such a time and not call?.. In this day of technology, at the very least, send a text message? Then you don't answer the phone when you are called nor do you call back? The person waits up a good hour or so longer just to have their call ignored, and they worry if you/things are OK.. besides they can't get in touch with you- how convenient!
It just makes no sense!
My 2nd biggest pet peeve is when people give you 1/2 the information.. Like where they will be but leave off certain details like WHERE.. Why wouldn't you just tell them ALL the details, like where THERE is?!? Like the other person is a mind reader or something! Then you get frustrated when they question you?? Don't you think they are equally as upset because they were left out of the loop and ignored!? How Convenient!
If you don't tell people things they will never know.. so don't get frustrated/upset/angry when you are questioned, at the very least you should expect it. I would.
My 3rd biggest pet peeve.. getting hung up on.. how convenient! Check your position and see if you have the right to be that rude.
It's really hurtful when it becomes obvious to an individual that they aren't respected..
Actions speak louder than words.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Tag You're It!

Thanks Robin for sending your blog.. I always kind of wanted to start one, and after reading yours i thought.. HEY! WHAT THE HECK! So I thought i would start with something kwirky like Robin's TAG YOU'RE IT "survey" just to tell you all a little about myself! Let's get this crazy place rollin' shall we? Oh, and if you haven't noticed i rarely CAP my i's. lol.. That's my trademark, and i'm sticking to it!

Name 5 things that I do for myself:

1. Attend Yoga classes & read Yoga magazines, books, and on-line.
2. Attend Golf Lessons & read Golf Magazines and on-line.
3. Constantly read and research recipes and decorating books for creative ideas. (Food TV and HGTV are my best friends!)
4. Eat right and exercise as much as possible-minimum twice a week, not including yoga class.
5. Listen to Joel Osteen audio books, Pod casts and watch him on Sunday's to center my stress and bring those levels down.

Name 5 kind things I do for friends, my children or partner:

1. Paint and decorate my SO's house.
2. When i spend time with my SO on the weekends i cook, clean and just try to make his life a tad less stressful. oh, and fill his belly with good home cooked food.
3. Listen to everyone around me vent about the craziness in their lives and try to offer a different perspective if any.
4. Try not to vent TOO much to my friends and family.. they have their own stresses ya know?
5. Take and share pictures during outings so that everyone will have photo memories, whether they were at the event or not!

Name 5 kind things I've done for a strangers:

1. Tonight i actually assisted a woman at the grocery store reach something on the top rear shelf! i pointed out that there was a portable stair case right behind her lol.. i helped move it for her so she could get what she needed.
2. I was a member of the rescue squad so I've done a lot for others as far as that goes.
3. I always offer up my store savings cards when people say they don't' have them with them. (discounts stuff for me too!)
4. I recently helped an elderly woman find her car.. as scary as that sounds!
5. I donated $10.00 to Devin (Thanks Robin for making me cry!!)

Name 5 hobbies I enjoy:
1. Vacationing in Aruba
2. Painting, Decorating & Gardening
3. Reading
4. Cars
5. Spending time with my SO

I don't quite know how to tag others yet, as i only know two people that blog! lol and Robin already filled out hers!
So i guess my only other option is my BFF
"Magnolia "
Add to Technorati Favorites