On an Ebb

Thankfully, I was beginning to wonder if i was ever going to see it again.

Since my last update, i have since stopped taking Sam-e. It really wasn't doing anything for the anxiety, and since I'm not depressed, i really didn't see the sense in taking it. I'll keep it in the nutritional section of my pantry for now.

I have managed to only have 1 mild flutter of anxiety this week prior to going to my client. I managed to get through the brief annoyance. The 2nd mild flutter was with the younger client on a walk on the first extremely hot day this week. We did 2 miles, 3/4 of which where up-hill at mostly a 45º incline. It was a scorcher, and I wasn't prepared for a walk that day, but she wanted to walk as opposed to doing her training so walk we did.. I'm going to have to start charging more for that stuff lol. I don't mind though, good training for my Spartan Sprint on June 4th!  Less than 2 weeks away!!

So anyway, we were about .75 of a mile from her home when i just started feeling weird.. i let it go, then i actually had a heart palp, and then i got nervous, trying to shut down an anxiety ridden mind is like trying to shut off a fire hydrant with a toothbrush. My greatest fear was her being in a situation where i fell ill and she needed to go for help or something.. i know, i know.. stupid, but that is what people with anxiety like mine worry about. However, i kept on trucking up those damn hills lol, and started REALLY dumb conversations just to keep my mind off of it. Oh and i also found a nail at the end of someone's driveway and picked it up and disposed of it properly, would want them to get a flat tire lol. See! it's stupid stuff like that! 

Between the bootcamps and the hill training I'm getting here i think I'll be good in a week-and-a-half! At least i hope so anyway!

The reason for this post.. silly me.. i noticed now that I'm exercising extensively with the 0530 bootcamps and some client workouts at the end of some days, I'm too tired to have anxiety. I mean I'm exhausted. I was sitting in traffic on my way home from my "up-hill" client the other day and i literally wanted to close my eyes and sleep. NORMALLY i would be a frantic mess trying to find the path of least resistance home. I'm just too tired to care anymore, even though the brain is subconsciously controlling those attacks, my conscious self is like "Would you cut the crap already, I'm tired.. my body weary"...

Hopefully, now that the system is calmed down from the last major attack, that this will be more the norm.. I like riding on the Ebb

Just Like the Wind

Daylight savings had me getting out of bed at 0945 this morning! Today felt like a swift wind, can't see it and blows by real fast!

It was Hubby's work day tonight, so dinner was earlier than normal. That kind of screws up my system a little bit, but they say variety is the spice of life! I'll play along.

No panic attacks today, I felt just a tad edgy for a brief moment around 2pm ET, the majority of the day i felt a bit depressed, not unmotivated depressed.. ok maybe depressed isn't the correct word. I felt helpless... ok that will fit a bit better... Although i had some great phone calls with advertising companies and the local Chamber of Commerce and a great friend out in the Vegas area, I still felt helpless. Like i'm going nowhere, even though i'm doing all i can do at the moment to get this business up and running. Enough about that though let's get to the training..


Tonight's workout was ChaLean Push Circuit 1 and Extreme Abs. Oh goodness lol. Push is a lot different than Burn. Instead of working the upper and lower body at the same time like Burn, you only work one part at a time, with heavy weight for 8 reps max. If your arms don't feel like jello, you aren't lifting heavy enough! Never-the-less it was a great workout! Extreme Abs is EXTREME, it's not for the faint at heart, it burns immediately and you hold that for about 15 minutes! Feels GREAT though!

I have decided that Tuesday's and Thursdays are going to be my TRX Training days; keep it simple and remember it with the letter 'T'!

The weather was a bit chilly, so i opted not to start the C25K. I'm keeping my eye on the weather this week to see when i can fit that in. It looks like Friday might be the day for that! Temps will be in the lower 60's.

Oh yeah, the food journal.. I consumed about 1300 calories today. I'm up to 1085 right now and still have to add in a part of dinner, but i have to do research because it's boneless pork chops.

Speed Bump

Hit a minor speed bump.
On day 3 of panic attacks, so i haven't been training. The weather has been cooperating and I had every intention of starting C25K this weekend, but my body had it's own idea, and i am a bit troubled by it.

I haven't had an attack in quite a while, I've had uneasy feelings in certain situations, but not a full-on panic attack.

It started Friday mid-afternoon. Our new carpet was being installed, hubby was in the dining room playing on his computer and I was cleaning the kitchen and chatting with him when i started to feel 'edgy'.

I went outside on the back deck to catch my breathe and cool down (with the edginess comes hot flashes and the feeling of not being able to breathe), once i caught the chill i went back in the house and had some cold water to drink. I felt OK after about 5 minutes.

Saturday, hubby and I were out and about running errands. We decided to go to a local tex-mex place, but on the way there we were detoured because of flooding. I got a little edgy a couple of times, but nothing too severe. We got to the restaurant, and there were a ton of little kids there, i mean LITTLE, like the ones that scream and cry for no reason at all but to hear themselves? yeah, those. I spotted a booth in the far corner of the quieter side of the main room and asked the host if we could sit there, he told us he had to have it cleared, but we could wait if we wanted. Well, that waiting period did me in, we never got seated in that booth because no one ever cleared it, so he put us in the main dining room seated behind a party of 6, and surrounded by little babies. Look, I love little babies, but not that many in one place in a crowded bustling dining room when I'm already 'edgy'.

It took the waitress forever and a day to get to us, and by that time I was already in 'flight' mode. So we left and got stuck in traffic on the way to the U-turn on the highway (because of the flooding). That's when the big one started, tunnel vision, stomach drops, shaking, light-headed, chest heavy, hot flashes..... to name a few. I saw the exit ramp, I saw the other side of the highway (which was moving at a fast pace), there was no reason to have an attack that severe. I vocally tried to calm myself down, nothing was working... next step was to jump out of the truck and run, or cry, but hubby pulled into the adjacent parking lot and cut through and took the back roads to familiar roads with no traffic. He's a God send.  

Today, day 3,  I haven't had any 'attacks', but i have felt off-the-mark. Not sure if it's the fear of having another attack, or the fact that I'm just frustrated at it all. I'm weaning off of my meds so we can start a family, and I've been doing AWESOME with the weaning, minus a couple of very minor events that had to do with the wean itself. Now this.. 3 days of hell.

Last week i started a food journal, and i only logged 2 days. Looking back, it's clear that I'm barely reaching the 1200 minimum mark. So i decided today to make sure i did. Hubby went grocery shopping for us, since that is usually a place that triggers an attack because of the loud music in the store (why!?) and the crowds and the lines.

I entered the nutrition label information, weighing my foods, making sure the portion sizes I'm consuming are correct; I'm up to about 1500 calories today. The majority of those calories came after 1pm, and since then i haven't been feeling 'edgy'. Either the lack of calories is triggering the attacks, OR it's just a coincidence that they are subsiding.

I'm going to have to monitor and maybe play around to see if maybe lack of calories isn't creating the problem.

My TRX is HERE!

TD8W2

Great workout last night! I was especially proud of DH for keeping up with the insanity of ChaLean's Burn Intervals & Ab Burner. He only had to flip Chalene off 2ce this time hee hee, but he did it.

I noticed some strength endurance changes in myself last night during the workout. I kept the weight the same as the week prior, but I was able to get to the end of each workout. I'm not going to deny i teared up a few times, but i did it and i am so proud of myself for pushing myself to the end of each move. I'm sore today, but it feels delicious!

Yesterday was a particularly odd day of sorts. I woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed, but within about 1.5 hours this exhaustive feeling came over me. I was blogging, and catching up with my clients on Sharecare and i literally could not go on a minute longer. I had to put my feet up on the couch and just lay there for a little while. I wasn't mentally tired, meaning i didn't fall asleep, it was my physical self that was dead, like my batteries literally ran out of juice or there was a power outage! Where's that bunny when you need him?! lol

I remained on the couch for about 20 minutes, then as quickly as I stopped I started back up again! Then it was ON! Mt. Laundry was being tackled, I vacuumed the entire house, including the stairs, dusted everything, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom.. it was an all out assault on the house!

Later on that night was when DH and I crushed our workouts, then we were both in bed by 11:30! Unheard of, especially for him!  

My TRX Suspension Kit arrived that afternoon too! I cannot WAIT to get going with that! Check it out:

A Change in Plans

TD5W2

2.21.11
Slight change of plans.. I'm currently brainstorming on how I can effectively train.

Reason:
The hubby decided to workout with me for the first time since I met him over 4 years ago. Last night, I introduced him to ChaLean Extreme Burn Circuit 1.

While that puts me at week 2, it puts him 1 week behind me, and I wanted to start the TurboFire/ChaLean Hybrid last night.

So what I am "contemplating" is doing doubles, OR continuing with CEX as is and ADD TurboFire. I can do my cardio either in the morning while he's sleeping or after he leaves for work at night, this way we can to ChaLean together.

See the madness? lol

On top of all of that, I ordered the TRX Suspension System, cones, rings, and Kettlebells. 1. to add equipment to my home gym (I'm a personal trainer so i need the stuff anyway), and 2. I am going to need them to train for the Spartan and Tough Mudder (which my brother and I are OFFICIALLY entered into as of last night - yikes!)

OK, OK, OK, Yes! I AM a personal trainer, and YES I use workout videos. Why? because I love them. They are already done for me, I don't have to make my own routines, which can be time consuming believe it or not. Even trainers need trainers sometimes, and I trust the trainers I work out to on the videos. I don't buy "celebrity" videos; I buy the videos that have science behind them, that I know work.

Enough of that. The TRX Suspension System seems to be gaining in major popularity these days, so after doing much reading/research and youtube video watching, I decided that this is it. This is one of the key ingredients to my fitness routine to not only prepare for these races, but to get my body into the shape it needs to be in to function properly. I'm SO excited!

Also, I spoke to a colleague of mine out in the Vegas area yesterday morning. He is doing the Spartan Race in SoCal this upcoming weekend! So excited to hear about his experience and see some really cool pics! He did mention to me that I should consider using Insanity as well to train, because it is a good cardio endurance, mind control workout. So I'm contemplating that as well!

Update on the medication wean:
I visited the doc late last week and he wants me to stay where I am with the .5mg. After explaining the symptoms I was suffering from he wants me to slow down the decrease even more, so I have to stay here for a few more weeks. I am Ok with that, because the second .25mg drop I did was torture.

Plus, my anxiety out in public seems to be a little stronger, so he wants me to adapt more to each wean before I decrease. All-in-all though, it's been OK, and I'm feeling positive about the outcome!