This past Sunday, my future hubby and I, were eating breakfast watching Sunday Morning on CBS. There was a story rolling that caught our attention, and immediately after the story Charles Osgood began the all-to-familiar MJ story line. I wanted to throw my coffee at the TV, until the footage rolled...
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/07/12/sunday/main5153229.shtml?tag=cbsnewsTwoColUpperPromoArea
I went from anger to tears in about 3 seconds flat. Ruined my breakfast for a moment, but that's OK. My plight was heard, either directly or indirectly, or simply because i am not the only person in America tired of hearing the MJ bullshit.
I am so happy that Sunday Morning ran this story and in the manner that they did. I just wish the nightly news would follow suit.
Look, I understand War is scary and depressing, and most of the tree hugging Americans don't want to hear about violence and bloodshed, but it doesn't take away from the fact that there are soldiers from all countries, not just ours, dying everyday to fight for the freedoms of normal people all across the world!
Everyone trashed GWB for the war in Iraq, but yet we are still there under the new Messiah's administration, and now we are moving on to other countries as well. Is it right? God only knows, but what isn't right is the fact that our media chooses to only air bad things about the war (if anything at all these days).
I have had friends come and go from Iraq, as many people have in the last 9 years. I have one headed back for his 3rd tour. For those of them that were able to have PC access when not running convoy missions, they posted about their experiences and even posted pictures. It's not all bad! We are doing great things in those countries for the law abiding citizens and children. We aren't just walking in there guns blazing and maliciously killing innocents! but you hear nothing of that.
That's because of the media's malicious hatred for our former Commander in Chief. So much so that they can't even put their tails between their legs and report the good things we are doing, or maybe taking 1 day out of the week, at the least, to celebrate the lives of those lost in combat. It's a sad state of affairs when people rather hear about some celebrity, or sports figure, than to hear about a fellow tax paying citizen that has the balls to go and put his/her life in harms way. To take a member of the family unit out and leave their loved ones with the possibility every single day that they may not return home. How sad is that!!!!?
Then there's the analysts, gotta love them, posting polls and surveys on the news about how the racial component comes into play for the entire MJ circus. Blacks are more celebratory of MJ's life and mourning his passing blah blah blah, and whites are angry about the coverage. This came from a black female analyst, which based on her ramblings, is a racist herself. That is why racism will never die, but i can give this woman a clear - street value- explanation. The ghettofabs do nothing but live to be sports players or entertainers. It's what they know and what they follow. It gives them something to focus on other than getting a job and not living off of the feds. One of their HUGE entertainers died.. omg it's a travesty. You took their Elvis away. If he was white? well he kind of was, but that's neither here nor there, they wouldn't have been paying any attention at all. It's their culture. Doesn't make them bad people, it's just their choice.
My choice is to want to hear about the war, the soldiers, etc. One or two days of coverage for MJ would have been enough. Then a nice broadcast on his history and blah blah.. The media made a circus out of someone whom already was living the circus lifestyle. I don't even think former entertainer and President Ronald Reagan had this much coverage. So sorry if my hatred portrays me as a racist, but there are more important things in life.
Now that the circus has moved on, and LA is left to pay for Jacko's funeral with money they DON'T have, maybe just maybe the news will hear all of our bitching and run some stories about our soldiers. Well, we can only hope and pray.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Going Wacko over Jacko
Enough is Enough already!!!
How many days of ridiculous coverage of Michael Jackson can we really take?? When is it considered overkill?
After day 2 i was sick of it, and my overkill hit yesterday when i heard the shit-stirrer Al Sharpton call for a National Day of Mourning in regards to his death. I've heard enough.
9/11 isn't even a NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING! Pearl Harbor got it's day on the calendar and we celebrate that for what it's worth, but 9/11 the day in which thousands of CIVILIANS and POLICE AND FIRE AND EMS people lost their lives.. yet.. we still do not celebrate that as a NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING.
Hey AL! your got your priorities in a tangle as usual! oh wait.. sorry.. my bad.. MJ is black.. umm err he was black. Now he's some freakishly white color. Now if for some reason a good Samaritan would do us the great favor of taking you out we will certainly add you to the "day of mourning" list.. happily.
The media coverage of this circus is utterly ridiculous. Day in and Day out-none stop coverage of a drug addicted pedophile when a couple of days ago "7" of our great soldiers died in Afghanistan. Do you know where i "read" that story? when i opened my e-mail on yahoo. The story was a 1 line headline so-to-speak. No TV coverage, or radio coverage. NOTHING. Our soldiers are dying in vain! so some Stupid crackpot mediocre singer at best can have a circus funeral. I'm done with it, and something needs to change.
I'm going to start by writing every single news station in my metro area. I am going to tell them how disgusted i am with their poor judgment. Their lack of news coverage and celebration of the lives of our soldiers that have passed, the cops that die in the street everyday protecting us, the fire fighters that die frequently saving us, and all other Emergency service personnel that put their lives at risk so that we can be safe and alive and to see our families at the end of our day.
As for MJ? appropriately called Jacko the Wacko.. so what if everyone loved him.. and FYI not everyone DID. I didn't! i never did! I think Thriller was the only song i liked as a child and it was only when i was able to see the video on MTV. My family didn't, most of my friends didn't either.
And apparently a political figure in NY doesn't either. Here is what he had to say and i agree 100%:
(Story taken from Rolling Stone Magazine and the Telegraph. UK)
Congressman Peter T. King, a U.S. Congressman from New York’s Long Island, has come under fire from Michael Jackson fans after making some scathing statements about the King of Pop in a video this past weekend. Talking directly to the camera outside of the American Legion in Wantagh, New York, King said, “This low-life, Michael Jackson — his name, his face, his picture — is all over the newspaper, television, radio… Let’s knock out the psychobabble. He was a pervert, a child molester, he was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what does it say about us as a country?” Jackson was acquitted of child molestation charges in 2005. King said "more thought should be given to Americans dying in Afghanistan and people doing difficult jobs like fire fighters and teachers".
Thank you congressman Peter King!
How many days of ridiculous coverage of Michael Jackson can we really take?? When is it considered overkill?
After day 2 i was sick of it, and my overkill hit yesterday when i heard the shit-stirrer Al Sharpton call for a National Day of Mourning in regards to his death. I've heard enough.
9/11 isn't even a NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING! Pearl Harbor got it's day on the calendar and we celebrate that for what it's worth, but 9/11 the day in which thousands of CIVILIANS and POLICE AND FIRE AND EMS people lost their lives.. yet.. we still do not celebrate that as a NATIONAL DAY OF MOURNING.
Hey AL! your got your priorities in a tangle as usual! oh wait.. sorry.. my bad.. MJ is black.. umm err he was black. Now he's some freakishly white color. Now if for some reason a good Samaritan would do us the great favor of taking you out we will certainly add you to the "day of mourning" list.. happily.
The media coverage of this circus is utterly ridiculous. Day in and Day out-none stop coverage of a drug addicted pedophile when a couple of days ago "7" of our great soldiers died in Afghanistan. Do you know where i "read" that story? when i opened my e-mail on yahoo. The story was a 1 line headline so-to-speak. No TV coverage, or radio coverage. NOTHING. Our soldiers are dying in vain! so some Stupid crackpot mediocre singer at best can have a circus funeral. I'm done with it, and something needs to change.
I'm going to start by writing every single news station in my metro area. I am going to tell them how disgusted i am with their poor judgment. Their lack of news coverage and celebration of the lives of our soldiers that have passed, the cops that die in the street everyday protecting us, the fire fighters that die frequently saving us, and all other Emergency service personnel that put their lives at risk so that we can be safe and alive and to see our families at the end of our day.
As for MJ? appropriately called Jacko the Wacko.. so what if everyone loved him.. and FYI not everyone DID. I didn't! i never did! I think Thriller was the only song i liked as a child and it was only when i was able to see the video on MTV. My family didn't, most of my friends didn't either.
And apparently a political figure in NY doesn't either. Here is what he had to say and i agree 100%:
(Story taken from Rolling Stone Magazine and the Telegraph. UK)
Congressman Peter T. King, a U.S. Congressman from New York’s Long Island, has come under fire from Michael Jackson fans after making some scathing statements about the King of Pop in a video this past weekend. Talking directly to the camera outside of the American Legion in Wantagh, New York, King said, “This low-life, Michael Jackson — his name, his face, his picture — is all over the newspaper, television, radio… Let’s knock out the psychobabble. He was a pervert, a child molester, he was a pedophile. And to be giving this much coverage to him, day in and day out, what does it say about us as a country?” Jackson was acquitted of child molestation charges in 2005. King said "more thought should be given to Americans dying in Afghanistan and people doing difficult jobs like fire fighters and teachers".
“I just think we’re too politically correct, no one wants to stand up and say, ‘We don’t need Michael Jackson,’ ” King added. “You know, he died, he had some talent. Fine. There’s people dying every day.” King, a Republican serving his seventh term as representative for Nassau County, was upset with the media’s coverage focused on Jackson’s death and not more pertinent world issues like the Iraq War.
A rep for the Jackson family wouldn’t “dignify King’s statement with a comment,” the AP writes.
“There’s nothing good about this guy. He may have been a good singer, did some dancing… But the bottom line is, would you let your child or grandchild be in the same room as Michael Jackson? What are we glorifying him for,” King asks in the video. King later defended his statements in an interview with CNN, saying that even though Jackson was never convicted on child molestation charges, the fact that Jackson reached a monetary settlement with his accusers was evidence enough to support King’s statements.
I couldn't have said it better myself.. and if i could vote for him i would just for having balls enough to say what us little people can't because we won't be heard.Thank you congressman Peter King!
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Disturbing
I might have blogged once before about certain things happening; errr.. rather NOT happening on my friend's squad.
There was a light at the end of that tunnel at the end of the year when promotions were handed out. The hope was that the good leaders that were promoted would put an end to the sloth. It couldn't have been farther from the occurrences now happening.
The former Sgt. is now the Lt. he pretty much finds a place to hide and disappears. If a call does come in to which he is needed it takes him forever to get there. The new Sgt., which tested up through the ranks, was a well rounded, very intelligent, ambitious guy that everyone was excited for. He turned out to be the "go home and sleep" guy.
That's just great.. the 2 top tiered guys and they are nowhere to be found on calls.. REAL GOOD POLICE WORK!
Now there's the rest of the squad. 2 guys go home and sleep (besides the Sgt.) They ACTUALLY CALL dispatch and tell them that they are not available until whatever hour. One guy works at a snail's pace, and the other just calls out every other night. This places my friend and one other guy in a very bad position should something go wrong; and it almost has a few times.
What does one do in a situation like this? You can't nark on anyone because forget it.. that's blacklisting yourself, yet the only other option is putting your life even more at risk for keeping your trap shut!
So here's my 2 cents.
If you cops out there want to sleep at night.. go get a security job and leave the dirty work for the guys and gals that actually WANT TO WORK. OR, here's the other option.. you can't stay awake at night, get a day shift.. You selfish jerks.. you are putting your brothers and sisters at risk should a real emergency happen. Think of their families and friends as well.. and not only that but think of how shitty you would feel God forbid something were to happen as a direct cause of your laziness and inability to get to the scene in a timely fashion because you wanted to go home and sleep.
There was a light at the end of that tunnel at the end of the year when promotions were handed out. The hope was that the good leaders that were promoted would put an end to the sloth. It couldn't have been farther from the occurrences now happening.
The former Sgt. is now the Lt. he pretty much finds a place to hide and disappears. If a call does come in to which he is needed it takes him forever to get there. The new Sgt., which tested up through the ranks, was a well rounded, very intelligent, ambitious guy that everyone was excited for. He turned out to be the "go home and sleep" guy.
That's just great.. the 2 top tiered guys and they are nowhere to be found on calls.. REAL GOOD POLICE WORK!
Now there's the rest of the squad. 2 guys go home and sleep (besides the Sgt.) They ACTUALLY CALL dispatch and tell them that they are not available until whatever hour. One guy works at a snail's pace, and the other just calls out every other night. This places my friend and one other guy in a very bad position should something go wrong; and it almost has a few times.
What does one do in a situation like this? You can't nark on anyone because forget it.. that's blacklisting yourself, yet the only other option is putting your life even more at risk for keeping your trap shut!
So here's my 2 cents.
If you cops out there want to sleep at night.. go get a security job and leave the dirty work for the guys and gals that actually WANT TO WORK. OR, here's the other option.. you can't stay awake at night, get a day shift.. You selfish jerks.. you are putting your brothers and sisters at risk should a real emergency happen. Think of their families and friends as well.. and not only that but think of how shitty you would feel God forbid something were to happen as a direct cause of your laziness and inability to get to the scene in a timely fashion because you wanted to go home and sleep.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
What I've Learned
After i take a trip somewhere i manage to learn new things, either by someone directly teaching me or i find something to ponder and then "Google It" when i return home.
My last trip to Aruba in 2007 proved a learning experience as well. I learned about the Ocean's current at the Equator. Google it for yourselves and see what a fascinating tidbit that is! I also learned other things, but not nearly as important. My Trip to Aruba this passed week was no different.
If anyone really knows me, they know i want to swim with the dolphins. I know of a place near Aruba that offers this excursion. It's in Curacao, the "C" in the "ABC" islands known as Aruba, Bonair, Curacao. I learned that Curacao is not a "safe" island to visit, unlike it's neighbor Aruba. Recently, someone was killed there, i have yet to Google it. I have also learned that someone was attacked by a dolphin there recently. I was taught that dolphins over the age of 5-6 become extremely aggressive, not like their childlike and younger counterparts. Always good information to have when deciding on a dolphin swim, be it there or some where else in the world.
I also learned, that i can no longer fly. My fear of "whatever" is now crippling. My flight out of NJ was, for the most part, bearable. I didn't feel the panic until about 30 minutes prior to boarding. I tried to go it without a pill, but i couldn't, and that's OK. However, the flight home almost didn't happen for me at all. I woke up OK, but at breakfast is when it started. Sheer panic set in. of what? i have no idea, and i had absolutely no control, and no idea how to stop it. I had only 2.5 pills left, and almost 12 hours before landing back home; clearly not enough to get me home. After we returned back to our room to await our bus back to the airport, i was insane. Literally.. My body temp rose so high i was shaking, i couldn't get cold enough. i couldn't eat, i could barely drink water. I was freaking out. Now my instinct to protect myself kicked in. I had Kyle contact the desk for check-out times, travel times to the airport by taxi, and what the latest possible arrival time to check-in at the airport was allowable before we were denied entry to our plane.
I did the math in my head about my meds to try and spread it out over a time frame. Knowing when my worst absolute reaction would be during the flight, but most importantly, i had to get to the airport and on the plane.. fucking terrorists! had it not been for them i would be able to board in a last minute dash.. now i have to be there no later than 2 hours prior. That's the hard part... WAITING. So i took the 1/2 a pill... i had to... i had to calm myself down. It worked. i was able to rest and drink water and take nibbles of my bagel while i waited for the bell hop to retrieve our bags at 11:45am. I took another 1/2 a pill when the bell hop arrived as it takes about 15-20 minutes to kick in.
We skipped the free bus transfer (scheduled for 11:15am) and opted for a taxi that is a direct shot. 15 minutes got us to the airport. Once there, thankfully they had the AC cranking at the check-in area, as there were TONS of people and it was loud and busy and no one was moving.
After Continental check-in you wait in a line "outside" to check-in with customs. God was on my side this day because he brought the clouds that we never saw while we where there all week. It brought the air temp down and cooled the trade winds as well. I took a washcloth from the hotel and used the last of the water i had to soak it to pat myself with to keep me cooler. Though the panic is no longer evident because of the meds, i still felt so hot i wanted to pass out.
We got through customs check #1, went through security check #1, US Customs check and Homeland security check, and headed to the gate area. There is a bar there now! PERFECT! a little bud light with those pills and I'll be OK to at least get through the boarding process which i was fortunate enough to have an understand Continental rep at the gate and explained my problem and was given permission to board absolutely LAST, before they closed the doors. When boarding calls started i took my last 1/2 a pill, this would get me through to 1/2 way through the flight.
Now anyone that deals with Newark airport fully understands that you NEVER EVER land on time. EVVVVVEEEERRRRR. We took off 10 minutes after scheduled take off due to refueling, the pilot confirmed our 16 minute earlier landing than scheduled YAY!.. only to be thwarted the last 20 mintues of scheduled flight time. APPARENTLY, there was a problem at Newark airport that day and one of the runways is closed. OK now, lets just look at that statement from a paranoid person's perspective: Problem, runway, closed, we are in a holding pattern for possibly 15-20 minutes = HOLY SHIT! I don't have enough meds to get me through this. Now i took my last full pill when my TV monitor said we had 2 hours left in flight. I couldn't have scheduled that more perfectly. This little screw up just set me back 6 hours.. mentally. I tried to find something to watch on TV, and did, until they took that from me too. Why? because we were cleared to land! YAY!!
NO I DON'T THINK SO!
Immediately after clearance they retracted it and sent us into holding pattern #2. Which, comfortingly enough was over Kyle's house! lol now i know why there are always so many damn planes flying over! they are in a holding pattern! lol see i learned something new yet again! The jerk captain told us he would tell us when when were released to land but the jerk never did.. I call him a jerk because #1 he lied, #2 when you see the monitor tell you your altitude and it's much much lower than you should be you freak.. well at least i do because i have an issue apparently, but i managed to keep it together just long enough to realize that we were LANDING. I actually cried when all 3 where on the ground. I didn't cry because i was upset. I cried because i was so exhausted from feeling the way i was for so long that it was now just a short 15 minutes away from ending.
That it did, once the steward opened the door i felt cold (not because of the outside temps either, though very much welcomed), the shakes stopped, the feeling of pure terror ceased. I was home safe and sound and the plane made it, and i didn't have to make them land the plane or anything like that. It was over.
During this entire ordeal, the one person i felt bad for was Kyle. He didn't know how to help me. That has to be the most scariest and annoying thing. When you can't help someone that needs it. It's in his natural make-up to help others, He's been an EMT forEVER, he's also a LEO. He was powerless, as was I because i couldn't tell him how to help me, I don't even know how to help me.
During this last flight i learned that my attacks with flying have become almost uncontrollable. Which going into planning a wedding and a honeymoon is upsetting. Not for me, but for Kyle. I don't want to deprive him of a great honeymoon because i have an overwhelming terror of flying. As i type this my heart is palping and my blood pressure is up just recanting the entire experience. The even more troublesome part of the ordeal is the withdrawal from the medication.
There has to be a Dr. out there that can get me over this. I've tried with my shrink, and as awesome as he is he still cannot help. I don't want to be confined to this God-forsaken country for the rest of my life because i can't take a 4 hour flight to the Caribbean, and i don't want to deprive Kyle of a great honeymoon. He works too hard, and enjoys Aruba too much to tell him he cannot go because his bride-to-be is paranoid to fly for absolutely no reason. It's bad enough we don't go to the city with friends because i can't take trains or buses and crowded and loud places. There has to be something out there to stop this madness!
My last trip to Aruba in 2007 proved a learning experience as well. I learned about the Ocean's current at the Equator. Google it for yourselves and see what a fascinating tidbit that is! I also learned other things, but not nearly as important. My Trip to Aruba this passed week was no different.
If anyone really knows me, they know i want to swim with the dolphins. I know of a place near Aruba that offers this excursion. It's in Curacao, the "C" in the "ABC" islands known as Aruba, Bonair, Curacao. I learned that Curacao is not a "safe" island to visit, unlike it's neighbor Aruba. Recently, someone was killed there, i have yet to Google it. I have also learned that someone was attacked by a dolphin there recently. I was taught that dolphins over the age of 5-6 become extremely aggressive, not like their childlike and younger counterparts. Always good information to have when deciding on a dolphin swim, be it there or some where else in the world.
I also learned, that i can no longer fly. My fear of "whatever" is now crippling. My flight out of NJ was, for the most part, bearable. I didn't feel the panic until about 30 minutes prior to boarding. I tried to go it without a pill, but i couldn't, and that's OK. However, the flight home almost didn't happen for me at all. I woke up OK, but at breakfast is when it started. Sheer panic set in. of what? i have no idea, and i had absolutely no control, and no idea how to stop it. I had only 2.5 pills left, and almost 12 hours before landing back home; clearly not enough to get me home. After we returned back to our room to await our bus back to the airport, i was insane. Literally.. My body temp rose so high i was shaking, i couldn't get cold enough. i couldn't eat, i could barely drink water. I was freaking out. Now my instinct to protect myself kicked in. I had Kyle contact the desk for check-out times, travel times to the airport by taxi, and what the latest possible arrival time to check-in at the airport was allowable before we were denied entry to our plane.
I did the math in my head about my meds to try and spread it out over a time frame. Knowing when my worst absolute reaction would be during the flight, but most importantly, i had to get to the airport and on the plane.. fucking terrorists! had it not been for them i would be able to board in a last minute dash.. now i have to be there no later than 2 hours prior. That's the hard part... WAITING. So i took the 1/2 a pill... i had to... i had to calm myself down. It worked. i was able to rest and drink water and take nibbles of my bagel while i waited for the bell hop to retrieve our bags at 11:45am. I took another 1/2 a pill when the bell hop arrived as it takes about 15-20 minutes to kick in.
We skipped the free bus transfer (scheduled for 11:15am) and opted for a taxi that is a direct shot. 15 minutes got us to the airport. Once there, thankfully they had the AC cranking at the check-in area, as there were TONS of people and it was loud and busy and no one was moving.
After Continental check-in you wait in a line "outside" to check-in with customs. God was on my side this day because he brought the clouds that we never saw while we where there all week. It brought the air temp down and cooled the trade winds as well. I took a washcloth from the hotel and used the last of the water i had to soak it to pat myself with to keep me cooler. Though the panic is no longer evident because of the meds, i still felt so hot i wanted to pass out.
We got through customs check #1, went through security check #1, US Customs check and Homeland security check, and headed to the gate area. There is a bar there now! PERFECT! a little bud light with those pills and I'll be OK to at least get through the boarding process which i was fortunate enough to have an understand Continental rep at the gate and explained my problem and was given permission to board absolutely LAST, before they closed the doors. When boarding calls started i took my last 1/2 a pill, this would get me through to 1/2 way through the flight.
Now anyone that deals with Newark airport fully understands that you NEVER EVER land on time. EVVVVVEEEERRRRR. We took off 10 minutes after scheduled take off due to refueling, the pilot confirmed our 16 minute earlier landing than scheduled YAY!.. only to be thwarted the last 20 mintues of scheduled flight time. APPARENTLY, there was a problem at Newark airport that day and one of the runways is closed. OK now, lets just look at that statement from a paranoid person's perspective: Problem, runway, closed, we are in a holding pattern for possibly 15-20 minutes = HOLY SHIT! I don't have enough meds to get me through this. Now i took my last full pill when my TV monitor said we had 2 hours left in flight. I couldn't have scheduled that more perfectly. This little screw up just set me back 6 hours.. mentally. I tried to find something to watch on TV, and did, until they took that from me too. Why? because we were cleared to land! YAY!!
NO I DON'T THINK SO!
Immediately after clearance they retracted it and sent us into holding pattern #2. Which, comfortingly enough was over Kyle's house! lol now i know why there are always so many damn planes flying over! they are in a holding pattern! lol see i learned something new yet again! The jerk captain told us he would tell us when when were released to land but the jerk never did.. I call him a jerk because #1 he lied, #2 when you see the monitor tell you your altitude and it's much much lower than you should be you freak.. well at least i do because i have an issue apparently, but i managed to keep it together just long enough to realize that we were LANDING. I actually cried when all 3 where on the ground. I didn't cry because i was upset. I cried because i was so exhausted from feeling the way i was for so long that it was now just a short 15 minutes away from ending.
That it did, once the steward opened the door i felt cold (not because of the outside temps either, though very much welcomed), the shakes stopped, the feeling of pure terror ceased. I was home safe and sound and the plane made it, and i didn't have to make them land the plane or anything like that. It was over.
During this entire ordeal, the one person i felt bad for was Kyle. He didn't know how to help me. That has to be the most scariest and annoying thing. When you can't help someone that needs it. It's in his natural make-up to help others, He's been an EMT forEVER, he's also a LEO. He was powerless, as was I because i couldn't tell him how to help me, I don't even know how to help me.
During this last flight i learned that my attacks with flying have become almost uncontrollable. Which going into planning a wedding and a honeymoon is upsetting. Not for me, but for Kyle. I don't want to deprive him of a great honeymoon because i have an overwhelming terror of flying. As i type this my heart is palping and my blood pressure is up just recanting the entire experience. The even more troublesome part of the ordeal is the withdrawal from the medication.
There has to be a Dr. out there that can get me over this. I've tried with my shrink, and as awesome as he is he still cannot help. I don't want to be confined to this God-forsaken country for the rest of my life because i can't take a 4 hour flight to the Caribbean, and i don't want to deprive Kyle of a great honeymoon. He works too hard, and enjoys Aruba too much to tell him he cannot go because his bride-to-be is paranoid to fly for absolutely no reason. It's bad enough we don't go to the city with friends because i can't take trains or buses and crowded and loud places. There has to be something out there to stop this madness!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Everything happens for a reason. 2 parts
But WHAT is that reason?
Today i should be sitting on a white sandy beach in Aruba drinking some sort of alcoholic beverage.
Instead, I'm home, eating shitty Chinese food and tip tapping away on my keyboard.
Why? because God and/or Mother Nature and/or Father Winter decided to play a REALLY CRUEL game.. Make 12 hours of snow look worse on radar and cancel all flights. Yep, my flight was canceled.. next one out is AFTER Kyle's vacation is over. for all that know about LEO jobs.. you can't just "Call out" you have to get time approved. Usually too, the time has already been taken off by someone else.
Anywho, during my tirade after seeing the word "CANCELED" on my computer screen 8 hours prior to my flight's departure, i managed to find the anger my therapist told me years ago to find.. I had pure ANGER and RAGE, but at what? Life? God? Continental? Myself? well, definitely myself.. because NORMALLY i would have booked that flight on a Saturday or Sunday instead of a Monday due to airport chaos, but for some reason i didn't. Maybe it was Kyle's work schedule? He was, after-all, supposed to be working that weekend so i most likely didn't want to suck up his time. It could have just been the way the stars aligned when i made the decision, but I'm going with the former lol. After all, i do have a bad memory.
Regardless, the flight was cancelled, and my BFF Jess tried her damnedest to find an alternate for us as they are supposed to meet us "Tomorrow". I had it all planned out.. i was going to leave a note at the desk for her and her DH to meet us at our palapa where i would have a freshly made alcoholic beverage for them to enjoy and unwind to. But noooo.. that isn't going to happen. Sorry guys.. Love you both!
This is where part 2 starts:
Apparently, there was another plan that brewed that i knew nothing about.. amazing how oblivious i am.
During my tirade i was forced to hit my flying Valium (for the flight, it does not fly itself) because i was so mad i was going to punch my hand through a wall.. Very uncharacteristic of me, and normally when i do get pissed off i just spew bad words for a little bit and I'm done.. This anger never ceased, my explanation is that I'm so OVER-STRESSED at work and in my personal life that i just need to get out of this God-forsaken hell hole called New Jersey, and mingle with happy people in Aruba.. It is after all, the "Happy Island".
I finally passed out on the couch curled up in a ball with the TV on. Kyle, at one point, went to bed and didn't wake me. He let me RIP. I needed it.. thanks my love.
The next day started off bad, but my anger was calmer. Though i was spewing profanities at the Meteorologists on TV and everything else that pissed me off, which was everything and everyone. I was cranky, and i deserved to be.
At one point, i was in the office staring blankly at the airline's website yet again looking for an alternate. I called AMEX to get info on refunds etc., and spoke with my travel agent umpteen times. At one point i just became so exhausted that i shut all my open windows down and said to Kyle as i stood up from the desk "you have now witnessed first-hand, what my luck is like. You thought i was exaggerating when i told you this time and time again. Now do you believe me? I fended off illness for 2 weeks, i battled food poisoning this week, and now a reckoning force has won, preventing my plane from leaving this hell hole" and i started walking out of the office when he asked "where are you going?" i turned to answer him and he was on one knee. I questioned WTF he was doing. He asked "will you be my wife?" i responded in disbelief of what the hell was going on, until he opened his hand and there was the ring. The most beautiful ring i have ever seen. I immediately went from completely and utterly pissed off and hopeless to crying like a 2 year old and accepting his proposal.
I could turn it around and be pissed that his plan was thwarted and i was not proposed to in the place we both love more than any other place on Earth, but i will take it. Reason? Out of all of my tirades and anger and despair, the one thing Kyle knew would move my mood to positive was his proposal. He got the shorter end of the deal. The plan in which he worked so hard for was completely crushed. Though the end result is the same, it really does mean more to me now. He sacrifices so much for me, and he really does show his undying love for me. I truly hope that it never changes. He is the best thing my life has ever been blessed to receive. "I" am the luckiest woman alive, without a doubt.
So to answer your questions:
No date has been set yet.
We don't know when we are going to have kids lol!
We are working on a reschedule of the trip to Aruba.
But there is one thing i promise.. You will be kept in the loop.
~T
Today i should be sitting on a white sandy beach in Aruba drinking some sort of alcoholic beverage.
Instead, I'm home, eating shitty Chinese food and tip tapping away on my keyboard.
Why? because God and/or Mother Nature and/or Father Winter decided to play a REALLY CRUEL game.. Make 12 hours of snow look worse on radar and cancel all flights. Yep, my flight was canceled.. next one out is AFTER Kyle's vacation is over. for all that know about LEO jobs.. you can't just "Call out" you have to get time approved. Usually too, the time has already been taken off by someone else.
Anywho, during my tirade after seeing the word "CANCELED" on my computer screen 8 hours prior to my flight's departure, i managed to find the anger my therapist told me years ago to find.. I had pure ANGER and RAGE, but at what? Life? God? Continental? Myself? well, definitely myself.. because NORMALLY i would have booked that flight on a Saturday or Sunday instead of a Monday due to airport chaos, but for some reason i didn't. Maybe it was Kyle's work schedule? He was, after-all, supposed to be working that weekend so i most likely didn't want to suck up his time. It could have just been the way the stars aligned when i made the decision, but I'm going with the former lol. After all, i do have a bad memory.
Regardless, the flight was cancelled, and my BFF Jess tried her damnedest to find an alternate for us as they are supposed to meet us "Tomorrow". I had it all planned out.. i was going to leave a note at the desk for her and her DH to meet us at our palapa where i would have a freshly made alcoholic beverage for them to enjoy and unwind to. But noooo.. that isn't going to happen. Sorry guys.. Love you both!
This is where part 2 starts:
Apparently, there was another plan that brewed that i knew nothing about.. amazing how oblivious i am.
During my tirade i was forced to hit my flying Valium (for the flight, it does not fly itself) because i was so mad i was going to punch my hand through a wall.. Very uncharacteristic of me, and normally when i do get pissed off i just spew bad words for a little bit and I'm done.. This anger never ceased, my explanation is that I'm so OVER-STRESSED at work and in my personal life that i just need to get out of this God-forsaken hell hole called New Jersey, and mingle with happy people in Aruba.. It is after all, the "Happy Island".
I finally passed out on the couch curled up in a ball with the TV on. Kyle, at one point, went to bed and didn't wake me. He let me RIP. I needed it.. thanks my love.
The next day started off bad, but my anger was calmer. Though i was spewing profanities at the Meteorologists on TV and everything else that pissed me off, which was everything and everyone. I was cranky, and i deserved to be.
At one point, i was in the office staring blankly at the airline's website yet again looking for an alternate. I called AMEX to get info on refunds etc., and spoke with my travel agent umpteen times. At one point i just became so exhausted that i shut all my open windows down and said to Kyle as i stood up from the desk "you have now witnessed first-hand, what my luck is like. You thought i was exaggerating when i told you this time and time again. Now do you believe me? I fended off illness for 2 weeks, i battled food poisoning this week, and now a reckoning force has won, preventing my plane from leaving this hell hole" and i started walking out of the office when he asked "where are you going?" i turned to answer him and he was on one knee. I questioned WTF he was doing. He asked "will you be my wife?" i responded in disbelief of what the hell was going on, until he opened his hand and there was the ring. The most beautiful ring i have ever seen. I immediately went from completely and utterly pissed off and hopeless to crying like a 2 year old and accepting his proposal.
I could turn it around and be pissed that his plan was thwarted and i was not proposed to in the place we both love more than any other place on Earth, but i will take it. Reason? Out of all of my tirades and anger and despair, the one thing Kyle knew would move my mood to positive was his proposal. He got the shorter end of the deal. The plan in which he worked so hard for was completely crushed. Though the end result is the same, it really does mean more to me now. He sacrifices so much for me, and he really does show his undying love for me. I truly hope that it never changes. He is the best thing my life has ever been blessed to receive. "I" am the luckiest woman alive, without a doubt.
So to answer your questions:
No date has been set yet.
We don't know when we are going to have kids lol!
We are working on a reschedule of the trip to Aruba.
But there is one thing i promise.. You will be kept in the loop.
~T
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