On an Ebb

Thankfully, I was beginning to wonder if i was ever going to see it again.

Since my last update, i have since stopped taking Sam-e. It really wasn't doing anything for the anxiety, and since I'm not depressed, i really didn't see the sense in taking it. I'll keep it in the nutritional section of my pantry for now.

I have managed to only have 1 mild flutter of anxiety this week prior to going to my client. I managed to get through the brief annoyance. The 2nd mild flutter was with the younger client on a walk on the first extremely hot day this week. We did 2 miles, 3/4 of which where up-hill at mostly a 45º incline. It was a scorcher, and I wasn't prepared for a walk that day, but she wanted to walk as opposed to doing her training so walk we did.. I'm going to have to start charging more for that stuff lol. I don't mind though, good training for my Spartan Sprint on June 4th!  Less than 2 weeks away!!

So anyway, we were about .75 of a mile from her home when i just started feeling weird.. i let it go, then i actually had a heart palp, and then i got nervous, trying to shut down an anxiety ridden mind is like trying to shut off a fire hydrant with a toothbrush. My greatest fear was her being in a situation where i fell ill and she needed to go for help or something.. i know, i know.. stupid, but that is what people with anxiety like mine worry about. However, i kept on trucking up those damn hills lol, and started REALLY dumb conversations just to keep my mind off of it. Oh and i also found a nail at the end of someone's driveway and picked it up and disposed of it properly, would want them to get a flat tire lol. See! it's stupid stuff like that! 

Between the bootcamps and the hill training I'm getting here i think I'll be good in a week-and-a-half! At least i hope so anyway!

The reason for this post.. silly me.. i noticed now that I'm exercising extensively with the 0530 bootcamps and some client workouts at the end of some days, I'm too tired to have anxiety. I mean I'm exhausted. I was sitting in traffic on my way home from my "up-hill" client the other day and i literally wanted to close my eyes and sleep. NORMALLY i would be a frantic mess trying to find the path of least resistance home. I'm just too tired to care anymore, even though the brain is subconsciously controlling those attacks, my conscious self is like "Would you cut the crap already, I'm tired.. my body weary"...

Hopefully, now that the system is calmed down from the last major attack, that this will be more the norm.. I like riding on the Ebb

Insanity

Today marked day 1 of Insanity (not the mental condition silly, the workout program with Shaun T!).

Day 1 is the Fit Test. There are 8 moves that you do and count and log on your fit test sheet.

Out of 8 I made it to #4 (Power Jumps) for a total of 17, and that is as far as I made it before I literally passed out.

Now I'm not saying this to scare you or to have a pity party. I'm just sharing with you my experience with the program.

There were/are many factors that i am considering as the culprit, and being a trainer i should know better. However, I am human, and humans make mistakes too especially when gauging their own physical capabilities.

#1 The fact that I ate too close to workout. Though, it wasn't solid food, it was a smoothie, i still think the blood was directed to digestion, because my brain wasn't getting it.

#2. The change in workout time. I'm a night person. i love working out at night more-so in the AM because I have more energy and I'm more motivated, my body was still half asleep when i started.

#3. I started another meds ween 2 days ago, and that in-and-of-itself taxes the brain and body like you wouldn't believe... not to mention the headaches!

Those are the main 3 that keep coming to mind. I was making extra sure i was breathing properly, and not OVER exerting myself. After-all it is just a fit test meant to gauge progress, not performance. This is training for my Spartan and Tough Mudder races, I'm not trying to win the Miss America Pageant.

While my hubby was trying to help me come back from the blackness (thankfully, he was home AND EMT certified), I couldn't help but be thrusted back to 2 incidents in my life where this same thing happened, and the result.

The first time was at the gym. I used to frequent Gold's Gym in my mid 20's for morning workouts on my way to work. Loved that place so much, loved the environment, the feeling, the energy. Then one morning i was doing lunges with weights.. Now you have to remember, in my mid 20's i was in peak shape, my body fat was nearly non-existent, and i was shredded and ripped, working out was my drug of choice and i worked it hard, and it showed. That fateful morning, while doing lunges, i passed out. Went down like an over-loaded barbell. I was brought to, checked by medics and i refused to be sent to the hospital, cleaned up and headed to work.

I never went back.

I was so embarrassed at what had happened that i couldn't show my face in that gym ever again. In fact, that pretty much ended my gym time all-together for quite a while.

The second incident didn't even involve the gym, or training. I was accompanying my boyfriend at the time on a business trip to South Carolina. We were on day 2, had eaten breakfast together and he went off to his meeting and I to the pool. It was a hot day, but nothing i wasn't used to, nice breeze, kids playing and splashing around, i had a great book what could be better? 

That's what i thought too.. then i didn't feel to good.. I started feeling 'funny', so i calmly packed up my stuff and headed to my room on the 7th floor at the end of the hallway. Before i was even able to hit the elevator button in the lobby the blackness started. 'Stay calm' i kept saying to myself. I made it to the 7th floor, and just like a horror movie when the hallway seems to lengthen for miles, i started making that trek to my room. Cleaning ladies where staring at me as i was nearly crawling to my room (i know, i know.. why not help me right?). Once inside, i got sick, I'll spare you the details, and passed out on the bed.

When he came back from his meeting, (6 hours later), I was still passed out on the bed. He woke me up. Scary to think that i could have died, and my last visual was the cleaning lady staring at me while i was trying to get to safety lol.

When events like these happen, they change your life, well they changed mine anyway.
I never felt comfortable in a gym environment ever again; i was always afraid that it would happen again. People staring at me when i work out also makes me feel very uncomfortable because it brings me back to what i saw when i opened my eyes when the medics brought me to. I know the saying 'When you get smacked down, just jump back on the horse', but for me that horse just kept bucking me off. So i found working out at home to be a better substitute, even though i didn't have the equipment that the gym had. 

Then, in my mid 30's Beachbody and P90X came into my life and the rest is history. I don't need a gym now! Though, it does not help the blacking out situation. So I'm going to have to monitor that and keep you abreast of what happens.

Just Like the Wind

Daylight savings had me getting out of bed at 0945 this morning! Today felt like a swift wind, can't see it and blows by real fast!

It was Hubby's work day tonight, so dinner was earlier than normal. That kind of screws up my system a little bit, but they say variety is the spice of life! I'll play along.

No panic attacks today, I felt just a tad edgy for a brief moment around 2pm ET, the majority of the day i felt a bit depressed, not unmotivated depressed.. ok maybe depressed isn't the correct word. I felt helpless... ok that will fit a bit better... Although i had some great phone calls with advertising companies and the local Chamber of Commerce and a great friend out in the Vegas area, I still felt helpless. Like i'm going nowhere, even though i'm doing all i can do at the moment to get this business up and running. Enough about that though let's get to the training..


Tonight's workout was ChaLean Push Circuit 1 and Extreme Abs. Oh goodness lol. Push is a lot different than Burn. Instead of working the upper and lower body at the same time like Burn, you only work one part at a time, with heavy weight for 8 reps max. If your arms don't feel like jello, you aren't lifting heavy enough! Never-the-less it was a great workout! Extreme Abs is EXTREME, it's not for the faint at heart, it burns immediately and you hold that for about 15 minutes! Feels GREAT though!

I have decided that Tuesday's and Thursdays are going to be my TRX Training days; keep it simple and remember it with the letter 'T'!

The weather was a bit chilly, so i opted not to start the C25K. I'm keeping my eye on the weather this week to see when i can fit that in. It looks like Friday might be the day for that! Temps will be in the lower 60's.

Oh yeah, the food journal.. I consumed about 1300 calories today. I'm up to 1085 right now and still have to add in a part of dinner, but i have to do research because it's boneless pork chops.

TDW1D4

I passed on the workout yesterday, I had a major headache so I had to pass - I was NOT happy either way!

I made up for it tonight though!

I successfully completed ChaLean Extreme Burn 3, Burn it Off, and Recharge.. 86 minutes of pure awesomeness!

I started with Burn it off, as i knew that was going to be more of a cardio/endurance routine and if i had to blow out weight training first i would not have the energy to get through it. I'm glad I made that decision too because my muscles were warmed up and ready to shake!

There was only 1 exercise I had to completely modify and that was Sumo Squat with Calf Raise. I could NOT get the form right with the weights, so after 8 reps I paused the DVD and started at 1 again with no weight just to perfect my form. I did 12 with perfect form with no weight - weight or not that was intense!

Finished up with Recharge which is a flexibility/stretching/Yoga routine and it felt delicious!

I had to indulge in the recovery drink for Burn 3 though, my muscles were shaking like crazy!

Then finished up with a nice shower to wash away the DNA!

It's a Crazy Place For a Workout

Yes, I changed the name of the blog!
Over the course of the years since creating this blog (previously known as "It's a Crazy Place"), my life has changed dramatically.

The original intent with this blog was simply a place for me to vent and share and have fun doing the new-hip thing! BLOGGING!

It soon evolved into an anti-cop-hater/pro-police place that I used to vent my frustrations and release some anxiety, and share with the rest of my followers what's truly going on out there in the police world that people don't hear about (for whatever reason).

Then life happened (i know, how DARE it!).. I got involved with a company called teambeachbody and became a coach for them, and i haven't turned back since. I had a blog going when i originally started with them called My Wedding Workout. That blog has since been removed and deleted (why i ever did that is beyond me lol) but it showcased my daily fitness life leading up to and including my wedding and honeymoon. I actually complete P90X WHILE on my Honeymoon in Aruba. That is how dedicated I am to my fitness, I'm just really bummed that i deleted the blog because i really would have liked for you all to have seen it.. I had a lot of fun posting and sharing, but i digress.

After I got married and moved into my married home with DH, I had to quit my job because i just couldn't handle the commute anymore.. somewhere along the way of the last few years I've developed anxiety/panic disorder (more on that later cause it's a tangled web) and my commute more than doubled each way.. after sitting in traffic for nearly 2.5 hours one night having panic attack after panic attack it was decided that i couldn't continue there with a commute like that. SO i decided to speed up my studying to be a personal trainer with NASM. In December 2010 I became a NASM Certified Personal Trainer. In January 2011 I started my own fitness business called Fitness to a T. But during all of that time i was still giving free coaching with teambeachbody under my own team of coaches known as The NJ Fit Club - and continue to do so today. I was able to work from home and have a residual income while i studied for my certified personal trainer exam. I am also an Elite Trainer at Sharecare.com working with Dr. Oz and "Move it and Lose it.

I love what I do, but i also love my connection to law enforcement (as i am married to one) and i want to try and get back to police blogging. The only difference is I am certainly going to be blogging about my fitness journey with my personal training and my coaching. Both are so rewarding in their own respects. 

So basically, this is me. This is my life. This is what i love to do and am passionate about, and i no longer want to keep it separate from my other interests. Being in 3 different places takes a lot of work.. and until they can get that whole cloning thing worked out I am just one person! lol

I'm placing this post in the first quarter of the year because i want to move some blog posts over from another blog that i created regarding the panic and anxiety disorder, and instead of doing a bulk upload and having 20 articles in one day I'm going to back date them. So thanks for understanding and supporting me!